I don't do 'hello' because I panic at what to say after.

Lincoln, UK
Joined October 2009
Tom Hollingworth retweeted
potat
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Tom Hollingworth retweeted
I would rather go to any market town in England stay in coaching inn/ travel lodge and eat sweets and crisps than Spend one day In Dubai
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Don’t want to take away from the bakers, but don’t show your hand by giving three hand shakes. One is good, two even is nice but three is setting someone up to leave. #GBBO
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Leave him alone, Noel #GBBO
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Does that Gingerbread mum worry about anything? #GBBO
Everyone fasten your seatbelts for more Christmas ads #GBBO
Ah yes, the under eyes crab. #GBBO
Just waiting for Jürgen to introduce some sort of metal engineering into his bake. #GBBO
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Dominoes adverts are fucking odd. The walrus one. You know. #dominoes
*Keeping doors closed to keep house warmer* *my cat every fucking time*
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Don’t drink red wine and watch Dodo animal videos. I’ve never been so emotional about a pig.
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Putting chocolate spread in my hot chocolate was a power move. I’m not saying it was a good move I’m saying it was a power move.
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Watching the door of Number 10... like we’re waiting for a Badger to emerge from a set. #bbcnews
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Sure mate, put Nutella in the park and I’m havin’ it. #squirrels
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Cards on the table, I’ve been wearing my jumper backwards all day #lockdown
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1. Lube up P.M. with Brexit deal congrats 2. Ask for a port #pmqs
Calm down lads... and now, a question from a smiley man. #pmqs
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Anyone else think Sir David King should mute his phone? #BBCNews
None of the songs in ‘The Road to El Dorado’ really fit. They payed for Elton John and he just sang every 10 minutes.
Pomegranates are a waste of time.