Bestselling author. 52 Times Britain Was A Bellend: amzn.to/2lev9V0 Sunburn, a funny book about how shit The Sun is: amzn.to/3bdzH7D

Joined December 2014
LAST CHANCE to get my bestselling books for 99p You Don't Want To Know: amzn.to/3M1nzDF 52 Times Britain Was A Bellend: amzn.to/3zg50sq If you like my tweets, this is a great way to support me so I have time to write more tweets. Also you'll love the books.
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James Felton retweeted
I mean, it’s a drag, and we’re all busy, but there’s going to need to be some kind of revolution
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I feel like many people don’t know what a person seeking an abortion they can’t access/afford sounds like. So I’ll tell you about the patients I’ve talked to.
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Cannot stress enough how this is the same Boris Johnson who AT THE SAME TIME made his party vote against feeding vulnerable hungry children at Christmas during a pandemic
👀Boris Johnson planned to build a £150,000 treehouse for son Wilf at Chequers - paid for by a Tory donor - but was forced to abandon the idea after the police raised security concerns. Mind-boggling story from ⁦@Steven_Swinfordthetimes.co.uk/article/boris…
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Nadine Dorries is so upset with the result she’s gone through nine world wars in her head
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Oh you want to get rid of Boris do you? Good luck in world war 39
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Hearing Volodymyr Zelenskyy is making up the sofa bed
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James Felton retweeted
Not a SINGLE Tory will go on BBC Breakfast this morning hahahaha!
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James Felton retweeted
The Tory candidate Helen Hurford in the Tiverton by election has just locked herself in the dance studio at Crediton sports centre.
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We now go live to Nadine
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GIF
James Felton retweeted
Departure of one of the most quietly pernicious figures in the party. As culture secretary, he tried to bully cultural institutions into following a government narrative. As chairman, he pursued a gibbering culture war strategy. He will not be missed.
My letter of resignation to the Prime Minister.
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James Felton retweeted
- astonishing swing from Tories to Lib Dems in Tiverton - seat has shifted from 24,239 Tory majority to 6,144 Lib Dem majority - that’s the biggest majority to ever be lost in a by-election in history
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James Felton retweeted
Do you remember when the line was that rail workers were paid more than teachers? That was three minutes ago
Teachers going on strike is 'unforgivable' and 'irresponsible' in wake of COVID, says education secretary news.sky.com/story/teachers-…
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James Felton retweeted
If Boris Johnson's cum face was a book, it would be this book, which thankfully isn't an audio clip of him grunting "Tally Ho, watwat" as he climaxes into an ovulating woman. If that feeling you're getting while picturing the above is your thing, I highly recommend this bargain.
My latest book is £3 on audible for today only, if anyone fancies it. Jay from the Inbetweeners reads it and he is *so good* audible.co.uk/pd?asin=140554…
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My latest book is £3 on audible for today only, if anyone fancies it. Jay from the Inbetweeners reads it and he is *so good* audible.co.uk/pd?asin=140554…
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Sample here
Your favourite cereal was designed by a man who wanted to stop you wanking A short sample from my new audiobook, read by @James_Buckley (Full transcript below) audible.co.uk/pd/You-Dont-Wa…
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May have nodded off during the scene where Karl Marx took Buzz Lightyear’s testicles
Lightyear is one of the most disgusting and woke movies to ever be created. They castrated Buzz Lightyear in the name of Marxism.
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Not saying they’ve completely run out of attack lines but Piers Morgan spent three minutes trying to make Mick Lynch condemn puppet crime
JOE
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His silence on Punch and Judy is telling
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James Felton retweeted
"Everyone was talking about what I did at the wedding" I say, smugly, stinking of poop.
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