forbes' 7.4 billion under 7.4 billion.

tweets
Joined November 2010
are you serious
2,744
81,493
8,635
409,893
Show this thread
“we haven’t talked since he puked on the floor and wiped it up with my cat” - rude - personal - only happened once “our perspectives differ on key issues” - intellectual - acknowledges both sides of a complex debate - celebrates the marketplace of ideas
34
309
amazing tweet
Is Pennsylvania Democrat Fetterman’s tattoo “I will make you hurt” based on his ties to the crips gang as reported by the Free Beacon or a reference to the nine inch nails heroin song “Hurt”. Fetterman won’t answer questions.
9
12
1
212
never been a sports guy and it’s too late to learn. so why do i play fantasy football? simple. i like feeling included. every year i choose some sporty sounding men and then they decide to betray me. it’s getting harder to convincingly act surprised about this, but i will persist
4
12
270
soul nate retweeted
Replacing the books I havent read on my coffee table with new books I havent read so it looks like I’m making progress when people come over
10
57
5
771
soul nate retweeted
i made some concept art for one of those unhinged app game ads. this one is called “three wife”
910
22,165
1,623
267,929
Show this thread
soul nate retweeted
me: im a bitch, im a lover, im a child, im a mother, im a sinner, im a saint the sphinx: damn. idk. that’s a pretty good one
1
187
1
2,165
soul nate retweeted
inside of you are two wolves. they are plotting a mutiny. they’ve got a little picture of your face on the wall and they’re throwing darts at it. they want to know what it’s like to drive your car. the era of man is over. it’s wolf time baby
18
366
7
3,104
Show this thread
soul nate retweeted
literally so stressful to bag your own groceries in front of a trader joes employee. like playing basketball in front of lebron. please can you scan slower. i’m sweaty and i am getting scared
46
967
80
21,225
soul nate retweeted
gotta respect the longevity of microsoft word. nothing about it works and it's still the standard. want to move an image? go to hell. edit a pdf? edit your expectations. ignore a spelling mistake? how about suck my dick. that'll be 150$
34
1,127
49
6,417
Show this thread
soul nate retweeted
hard to imagine a more embarrassing death than being beaten with a candlestick in a library by someone named colonel mustard
74
4,293
77
48,157
Show this thread
soul nate retweeted
termite twitter scares me
356
23,114
784
277,194
Show this thread
inside of you are two wolves. they are plotting a mutiny. they’ve got a little picture of your face on the wall and they’re throwing darts at it. they want to know what it’s like to drive your car. the era of man is over. it’s wolf time baby
18
366
7
3,104
the scientific term for this is “ratatouille by blood”
4
152
soul nate retweeted
corn maze employee: you can’t smoke in here me: [flicking lighter] stand back, i’m popping my way out
4
131
4
1,892
soul nate retweeted
Me: when is your birthday Her: March 1st Me: *walking around the room* when is your birthday?
581
35,193
1,742
237,949
soul nate retweeted
Me, trying to impress someone at a party: Oh yeah I read it too, there's definitely a lot of jest in it. My favorite part? Umm... Yeah probably the jest.
6
64
3
1,234
soul nate retweeted
“Journalist” on here: Research shows that squirt, in fact, comes from the bladder Me, very calmly: give me your phone number! I want to talk to you! I want to know where you live!
2
13
231
soul nate retweeted
farm: do you like fall? me: yes! farm: how about pumpkins? apples? me: 100% farm: do you like corn? me: huh? i guess farm: do you like so much corn it surrounds you from all sides. so much corn it envelops you. so much corn you might never escape me: is- is everything ok
50
1,140
68
13,857