To date the best airport experience I’ve ever had was after I was arrested. Got to skip bag drop line, security screening, and was boarded straight onto the plane. Federal Marshall escort right from car to plane.
My quickest entry into a country was the USSR. I presented my passport and visa and a man in a grey suit came out immediately through a side door, took me down a long corridor directly outside to a car where my bag already was and onto my hotel. I think I was expected.