4th grade. a white girl used all of her force and hit me in the arm after I told her off about her mean, bossy behavior. When I told the teacher, the girl lied and insisted it was just a gentle touch. The teacher believed her and told me to take a seat.

I often think about how in middle school two white girls approached me after an altercation with one, spit in my face and when the principal talked to me about what happened, she assumed my tone of voice and tried to pin it all on me.

Also in middle school, I gravitated towards a group of goth white kids because I got along with one of them in the group. Trying to fit in I made a joke about one of the kids in the group ( the way they all did to each other. No malice). The white boy called me a nigger.

… then he walked away. I look up and everyone in the group abandoned me and was comforting him like he was the one who was wronged.

Two months ago at my job, a Black boy didn’t like a job he was assigned and was complaining about it. A supervisor of mine (white guy) made it a point to say to me “thank you for not complaining”.

I know for a fact he only said that to me because we were both Black and he was comparing us. There were other ppl, men, around who weren’t complaining about a thing but he made it a mission to mention that to me specifically. Don’t even think he realized what he was doing.

This same supervisor happened to tell me one day ( I forget the context) that his dad was a funny guy but he “catches you off guard” because he’ll make a bigoted joke (even tho he’s supposedly not racist), and he has to “grow” on you-

as if racism is becomes permissible if it’s wrapped up in a joke and should be something one becomes accustomed to.

Moral of these stories: racism and bigotry is alive and well in white ppl. I’ve dealt with it my entire life and have mostly forced it down and tried to ignore it but.. I still deal with the ramifications often. And it bothers me.