Eternally sorry for my many Fuck Ups. Anguished new book: amzn.to/3EXTLEX custom Hardcover version: tinyurl.com/2nt93268 (for true sons of Bitchs only...)

mr. burbank
Joined September 2008
Pinned Tweet
no
925
56,900
6,539
132,412
manifesting not getting my ass kicked b y saying "i hope i dont get my ass kicked today" and getting my ass kicked regardless
44
1,518
104
8,052
my landlord gave me a call and told me the turds coming from my apartment seemed unusually thin. we then discussed turd strategy for 3 hours
52
558
13
9,157
34
139
2
2,962
world governements are calling diarrhea the "shit of the future" as it is faster to poop out; causes less wear and tear on pipes & plumbing
111
2,018
84
20,206
38
137
3
3,251
the nyt is giving me $10000 to write about the time i lied face down and cried while dogs humped me until i cummed in my pants 100% flaccid.
136
641
55
10,822
38
418
12
5,421
Many scientists agree that in the near future you wull soon be able to be sucked off by a gadget or a gizmo, instead of a woman.
139
857
89
12,375
Up & coming comedian hits my dms, says I'd like to workshop some bits w/ you. Lets rap. Then he shows me his penis. 600th time this happened
86
639
22
11,246
taking 3.5 million foot and mouth disease infected pigs and burying them alive in a massive landfill in sotuh korea. Good or bad
47% Its a little "Much"
53% They must pay
23,110 votes • Final results
48
191
10
1,787
And now it seems that even my own followers cannot resist pelting me with ad homenim dog shit.
49
297
15
5,735
marijuana did columbine
71
507
16
6,616
my attitude is generally over all an "I dont give a fuck" attitue
34
589
21
6,189
does that make me a nasty guy? Maybe. I just shrug and say "Fuck you" and "Fuck yourself"
13
186
6
2,864
i had do to it do him
87
1,503
59
11,794
Oops! another $50000 worth of nft ape shit got stolen from me some how. Weird!!! good thing i still have all 200 of my iq points
78
4,997
51
49,824
all of these people want to help me for Free. what a wonderful community
22
474
7
10,015
ive generated over 100,000 wordles in my head and completed them easily. what more can i say of it
48
2,656
44
35,280
will 2023 be a "big year"
33% Huge
41% It will be a normal year
26% Dont know
34,171 votes • Final results
71
113
7
1,007
had another nightmare where i had to explain to my high school principal why i wrote "Moves like Dorner" on the front of my note book
18
455
4
4,473